After coming more and more to grips with myself over the last year, I discovered a lot of hidden fears and anxieties. Buried inside of me, I saw there are still negative things which influence me on a daily basis. One of these anxieties, was expressing myself. To publicly show what I think. Especially with writing. Because as I know now, I made me think, writing is a skill I am untalented in.

The words of authorities can cause deep-laying anxieties

Especially if you are like me, raised with the understanding that no matter what authorities have to say, it must be true. Because they are authorities. I always have trusted what authorities have to say, because they have a reputation, gathered knowledge and experience. I mean, they are well-known for their knowledge and experience, why you shouldn’t trust them? Why do you shouldn’t define yourself upon their opinion?

First mistake: I was unconsciously convinced that authorities must be perfect. That they must be flawless. Naively, I thought that these persons can’t fail, because of their status as an authority.

Second mistake: I thought authorities must know everything in their special field. That they are wise, and perfectly informed what is going on in their fields. Even worse, out of my own false view, I thought authorities must know almost anything else, too. I thought, because they are well-known, because they use fancy-sounding word and because they are confident, they can’t be wrong.

Third mistake: Directly connected to the aforementioned, I thought that their word must be law in their certain topic. And because this person has a lot to say about this certain topic, he can perfectly take the measure if someone is talented or not. Therefore, authorities have the right to judge other people. At least, this is what I have thought unconsciously.

How absurd does this sound? How wrong have I been? To be honest, I don’t know but unfortunately, I guess I am not alone. In my opinion, there are lots of people out there, living under their possibilities because once, authorities told them to stop doing A or stop doing B.

Take a short test

Think about something you don’t do. Something you don’t do because you think that you are not able to do it. Because you think your input will automatically be bad. Now, try to go back to the roots of this thought. Try to find the trigger of this thinking and write it down, as good as you can remember.

Example: I took this test myself. While I started writing, I thought about why I didn’t do this in the past. I remembered that I have declared myself that writing doesn’t suit me. I became curious why I declared that writing doesn’t suit me. I followed this negative thought back to its roots and found the following:

Back in school, my German teacher said, that I am neither creative nor talented in writing. She said that I should focus on different subjects in school, because German or writing in general isn’t something for me.

This was the trigger for thinking that writing isn’t something for me. It was the reason, why I blocked myself while writing! Why I always had a negative thought while writing something. It was the reason, why I complained about my font, my writing style, the selection of words and expressing my thoughts on paper.

Finally, this was the reason I limited myself.

My interpretation of what this authority had said, was the trigger behind thinking that I am not made to write. That I have to look elsewhere to find my real talent and my real passion. But it was also the reason for my uncertainty whenever I picked up a pen and was about to write. Every time I had to write an essay in school.

What did I learn from this?

First, I learned that I have to be more conscious about what I should accept as a “truth.” Don’t take anything for granted, especially when it starts to limit you on a daily basis.

Second, I learned that I can learn a lot about myself and the limiting factors inside of me, if I take the effort to go back to the roots. To follow the negative emotion and anxieties until the place where it all started.

Third, I have learned that I can overcome such deeply anchored negative emotions, if I consciously choose to do so. I have the power to overcome my own limiting factors. I have the power to change.

Fourth and finally I have learned that I shouldn’t take the words of authorities too serious, especially if it is unconstructive criticism. If someone is only bashing you without providing any reason or any point you can improve, it isn’t worth to think about it. You can’t take anything away from hollow criticism. If this person is seriously interested in helping you to improve, this person will give you reasons. Reasons for what you have done wrong or what you can do better. Because, a real supporter wants to see you grow.

But, there is more

Besides the aforementioned, another major aspect why listening to authorities can be bad for you is the following: When authorities talk about themselves and show what they have done to become “successful” it doesn’t mean that it has to fit you, if you do this method, too. This is something I learned myself, with trying to fit different lifestyles into my own life to become “happy.” But I have also seen others trying to do the same. I have seen this in the comment sections of other blogs and in voicemails from listeners of podcasts. They all have tried to fit someone else’s lifestyle into their own life, which can’t work out. Therefore, once again, don’t fool and limit yourself with blindfolded listening to what authorities have to say.

After I have told you my personal story about what words of authorities can cause inside of us, I am curious to get to know your personal experiences. Tell me what you have experienced, in the comment section down below!

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