Gotcha. There isn’t any method, plan, advice or way to follow that can make you confident today. I’m afraid to tell you that, but unfortunately it is true. There is no solution to fit and rule them all. But if you are still curious about becoming confident, read on.

There is no one-time solution, but there is a way

This way will provide you an increased level of confidence. It will set you up to tackle hard arguments, hold presentations in front of crowds of people and finally speak to the beautiful girl at the other side of the bar. It will also provide you further insights about yourself, what you want from life and how you can get it. But as I have mentioned, it isn’t available right now.

This way is called Self-Development

Personal development, improving yourself, whatever you call it. And yes, it will take some time. It will cause struggles. Yes, it also will be exhausting. And of course, several times you will come to a point every nerve in you is screaming for comfort, is screaming for quitting all of the self-development stuff. Does it still sound appealing? I hope so, because it will be more than worth it. It will be the thing, you will never regret, because it will open 1000 closed doors, you never know existed. But after telling you this:

What can you do today, to become more confident?

It is easy: You start the process of becoming more confident. In your own pace. How to do it? Well, let me give you some suggestions:

  • Leave your comfort zone
  • Do what scares you
  • Leave you comfort zone
  • Do what scares you

These are only four points, but I could continue this list on and on…

Do you get the point?

Leave your comfort zone and do what scares you! Why should you do exactly this? Because you will see that what you think what may hurt, harm or make you feel insecure isn’t as bad as you thought. Actually, it is even good. Instead of going nuts wishing to talk to a girl you should simply do it.

Like Nike once said

Just do it. Yes, for sure sometimes you will get a rejection. Sometimes, you will fall. I don’t want to create an unrealistic illusion, that you will be successful every time you try something new. But nevertheless, afterwards you will feel a lot better. It is like going to gym at 6am (yes, I actually do this). First, you will feel awful because you have to leave your bed so early, but after you hit the weights and broke a personal record, you will realize how damn-good this feels. And such a feeling will give you a head start.

Back to the girl: Even with a rejection, you can say to yourself: “Good job! I was finally brave enough to do it!” This action was your first step out of your comfort zone. This was your first step towards being confident.

You don’t have to leave your comfort zone all the time. But you will see that you will start to like the feeling of being outside of it, because you realize what amazing things can happen there. You will develop a longing for being outside of it, just because of your curiosity about what happens there.

That is all you need in the beginning. Leaving your comfort zone and good-feeling moments on a daily basis. This is what takes the fear out of you. This is what gets you further. And feeling good while getting further is exactly what you need to become more confident.

You will start to understand that leaving your comfort zone isn’t something impossible or something you must fear. Instead, it should be celebrated. “Yes, another time I have left my comfort zone!”, no matter of the outcome (at first.) Get a red magic marker and a calendar and write a big X in your calendar for every day you have left your comfort zone successfully. Then, make a strike out of it.

So, what is the outline of all of this?

Simply put: there is no way to become confident today, BUT there is a way to start becoming confident today. It is a process, which takes time and involves struggles, but it is achievable. For everyone! You need to leave your comfort zone, in order to build confidence. No lurking around, no feeling comfortable. Do what scares you! And don’t let others fool you with telling that they became confident within a day, week, or even a month. Sustainable confidence is what has to be built, you guess it, sustainably. And sustainably means long-term. With building your confidence long-term you will be prepared for your successful personal future.

So, in the end, if you want to be truly honest with yourself, you have to redefine the heading: Instead of “how to become more confident, today!”, you should say “How to become more confident, starting today!” This is the right and the only sustainable approach you can take to become more confident and avoid falling victim to false claims of others.