Who of us didn’t want to impress someone we don’t like just to feel better? I did. And I know you did too. In the past, I tried to have better grades, a more muscular body and more knowledge as others around me. Back then, impressing others was a huge part of my motivation.

The wrong kind of motivation

Almost all of us try to impress others. No matter if it is through our style, our body shape, our intelligence or with how “cool” we are. We measure ourselves with our ability to keep up with people we actually don’t care about. We want to keep up with the Jones, because they got the new shiny flat screen TV. Because we believe that, when we aren’t able to keep up we will lose our status, our coolness and our good reputation.

Welcome to the Rat Race

When we start believing this, we got trapped in the Rat Race. In the never-ending process of trying to get more than somebody else, just because we think we need to. Because we think that we are a better person, when we have achieved more. I mean, how couldn’t we? The whole principle of western society is based on steady growth.

But despite this huge problem of society, there are several personal ones we should take a look at. While we are trying to impress people we don’t care about, we do 3 stupid mistakes:

#1 We start believing that we are a better human, if we get more of something

It says it all. No matter if consciously or unconsciously, with becoming a part of the Rat Race and trying to impress others, we develop a feeling of superiority, when we have more than someone else. That is a fact. We start thinking that we are a better human, just because we have more than our neighbors.

Listen to yourself, did you experience the point, where you felt amazing, if you imagined yourself having something specific? Something specific that somebody else wouldn’t have? What do you think is the reason that some of the “famous” people out there think like they can treat others like garbage? That is the reason. They believe “more money (or stuff) equals being a better human.”

#2 We measure ourselves the wrong way

Because we want to impress someone who likes cars although we don’t care about cars, we start feeling bad because we can’t keep up with the car of someone else. And this although we don’t care about cars. Do you get how silly this is? We feel bad, because we measure ourselves with things we don’t like?! What a flawed logic, still we do this often enough.

Another example of my life: As child, I tried to be good in knowing everything. I tried to learn as much as possible, to never be forced to say, “I don’t know.”. That sounds silly? It is! But honestly, I tried this. I looked at the heroes in movies, who seemed to know everything and were always able to answer with something extremely cool or intelligent. And I tried to be the same. Whenever I didn’t have an answer, I started feeling uncomfortable. I measured myself with the guys in the movies, without realizing that the texts over there are scripted. Without realizing that they actually should appeal like they know everything. I had no idea.

What was the result? I felt bad, because I couldn’t live up to these expectations. I felt like I wasn’t good enough to be a hero. Yes, in the retrospect it sounds absurdly silly but I bet you experienced something similar in your life.

#3 We waste time and energy we could use better

If we always aim to impress someone, we use a lot of energy and time (sometimes even money) we could use a lot better instead. Think about the first dates, we payed the bill just to impress a girl/guy who isn’t interesting at all. And why did we do that? Because we want to make the impression of “You aren’t interesting, but hey I earn enough to pay even for boring dates! I am someone in the world”

Sounds way too exaggerated? Think about society’s view on successful people. You have to have this and that to be someone. “What you don’t own the new iPhone? Pff.”, “You are a manager?! Ha, never seen a manager driving a Polo before!” Phrases like these are what forces us into trying to impress others. If we don’t do something against it. Therefore, I want you to do something, simple to understand, yet extremely difficult to execute:

Honestly, try to impress yourself

When I go to the gym, I try to impress myself: I try to push more weights than before. If I achieve to do this, I am impressed by myself, because I pushed my borders a bit further. The same goes for meeting new people. If I achieve to talk to a stranger and having a good conversation, afterwards I can be proud. I successfully impressed myself. You even can make this a habit. You don’t want to learn on a Sunday afternoon? Try to impress yourself with learning on a Sunday afternoon. After that, you can say “Hell yeah, I overcame my inner procrastination, I’m honestly impressed!”

Impressing yourself is all about finding out what you want or who you want to be. This is the first step. Find out what you actually want and which kind of person you want to be or become. The next step is taking action to get further in the direction of your goal. With every step you take forward, you successfully impress yourself.

It is that simple

Try it on your own. Get out there, take action and impress yourself. This method is a natural way to become more confident and you finally start to understand what you really want. You focus on yourself instead of others and with that you enable yourself to be yourself.

The lack of your will to impress others isn’t about feeling a bit better and spending less money. That are only positive byproducts of the process. Instead, it is about getting to know yourself, becoming the person, you want to be, while staying true to yourself and others. And with being integer you will automatically appeal other people. I promise. The more you are yourself, the more people will come to you. It is like a physical law.

Therefore, don’t waste time and energy impressing others. Use this time and energy to impress yourself instead. With doing this, you will take huge steps into the direction of your goals. But even more important: With doing this you will finally start to understand what you want in your life and where the journey should go.

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