On the search for the path I should follow in life I stumbled across a lot of different opinions, mindsets, world-views and persons. There was minimalism, the fitness lifestyle, the travel lifestyle and even the lifestyle of monks. I looked around the web and in books for someone who has the perfect life. Hours, days and even weeks passed by in which I was on the search for how to live the same life. I imagined myself being as happy as they are, once I have achieved to do the same.

Naive me

Naively as I was, I thought this would work for me. I mean, if others were happy with this kind of life, why shouldn’t I, too? It sounded so easy: Once I have figured out, how to imitate the perfect life of someone else, I will live my own perfect life.

How wrong I was

I tried to fit the lifestyle of others into my very own life. I tried to push myself 5 times a week to the gym, although I was in a football club, playing myself and also trainer of young boys. And I also tried to push myself into counting calories, although I noticed that I will lose my ability to know what my body needs to eat. These are only two examples of how I tried to push myself into something, which doesn’t fit me.

Afterwards, it sounds so crazy as it was. But at this time, I thought, once I hit a “magical” (unknown) point, everything will fall into place.

I wasn’t happy trying to do the same, others are successfully doing. I was wrong in believing that I can live the life of someone different. The reason, why I was wrong, is simple: I tried to find the perfect way to live that somebody else is already living. The fault here is somebody else. There was no me in the equation. Nothing of my mindset, my values, my fears, my dreams, my desires and everything what makes me Tim. Instead, I tried to imitate the lifestyle of others. Lifestyles of others with totally different believes and world-views. One time I was the fitness guru, tracking calories and macros and trying to get abs. At a different point of time I was the traveler, always on the hunt for new adventures trying to solve my problems through escaping from them. But in the end, what was left?

Not the life I want to live

With my desire to find the perfect lifestyle someone else is already living, I overlooked something crucial: I can only find the way I want to live, when I am actively crafting it. Day by day. I need to ask myself over and over again, if the way I live right now, fits me.

How can you find out how your life should look like, when you never ask yourself what YOU want in life?

What makes you, you? There is no way to create the way you want to live, when you try to imitate others all the time. Instead, you will begin to lose yourself. Like me, you will come to a point, at which you ask yourself:

What the hell do I want from life?

Here, for the first time, I involved everything I knew about me. Every fear, anxiety, goal, dream, weakness, strength and value which came to my mind, was put into a equation. I asked myself difficult questions like:

  • What are impressing aspects of people I admire?
  • What are my weaknesses and how can I overcome them?
  • How do I define personal success?
  • What is unnecessary in my current life and how can I get rid of it?
  • What are my dreams, values, fears etc.?

After answering many more of such questions, I came to a point at which I was able to improve the understanding of myself. With this improved understanding, I saw that the lives of others won’t work for me. They would make me anxious, feeling uncomfortable and fearful. It wouldn’t fit.

Your individual way of life

After doing all this I can say that this was exactly what I have needed to be where I am, right now. With all the blog and Instagram stuff going on, my personal goals and my will to support you out there. Without experiencing all of the aforementioned and even a lot different things more, I wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t be the guy writing this blog post.

There is no pathed way waiting for you

So, what can I say about my experiences? There is no already smoothed way waiting for you. For no one. You have to smooth your own way. That is what I have learned after all the attempts to live the life of others. After I lost the understanding of what defines me as a person. After I lost the understanding for the importance of my personal values and how I can involve them in the way I want to live.

Why you need to understand that you should craft your own way of life

First and foremost: to avoid all the mistakes I have made. To avoid getting stuck in the will to live a life that doesn’t fit you. And second, because with starting your own way of life, you will have an advantage. The advantage of being independent from everything and everyone else, but yourself.

Why do I tell you all that? On the one hand, again because I want you to avoid the mistakes I have made. To look for paths I can walk on, without knowing that there isn’t anything like that. But on the other hand, I see this as a reminder. As reminder, that you have the power to change your life every single day.

There is no path for you, until you start to smooth it on your own

Even if someone else is recommending you a certain path of life. It is up to you, to smooth your own way. No matter how scary or hard it may be, it is the only way you can be satisfied in life. It is the only way you can be truly yourself.

In the end, it is your choice, as always. You can decide to walk the paths of others, trying to make them fit for you. Or you decide to let these people and their lives inspire but not command you. Take what fits you best from these lives and blend it in your very own way of life. This is what I am trying to do.

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