Disclaimer: This post was written by a single. A person without a partner. With a certain point of view on consumerism and on the whole „I need someone by my side”-game. So, take the following words with a grain of salt. Still, consider if there’s some truth in what you read here and if you can relate to the mentioned aspects. Also, let me know what you think about this post in the comments down below. And now, let’s have us a deeper look on the famous Valentine’s Day.

Oh, Valentine’s Day, the day of red roses, loving couples, whispering sweet nothings and expensive gifts. The day in the year on which restaurants celebrate crazy profits and the long-awaited “Fifty Shades of Grey” gets watched in the cinemas. It’s the day of love. Of showing your significant other that you love him or her, in the best case with spending money.

Creating an event of consumerism

Actually, it’s an amazing idea. Taking a Saint, give him a day and create a purpose around his existence. This sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Like celebrating Christmas with presents and expensive gifts, Valentine’s Day gets celebrated too. Although the whole thing is a number smaller, because St. Valentine obviously isn’t Jesus.

But that’s not the point here. The actual point here is the creation of an event to spend money. Because it’s a tradition to take your partner out on Valentine’s Day, isn’t it? And it’s also a tradition to spend money on expensive gifts, dinners, roses, cinema tickets and all that stuff. And at this point, I ask “why?”.

No, I’m not the right one to decide whether this is „right“ or „wrong“, but I’m the one who asks if this is necessary. If it’s really necessary to express your love in this way on this certain day. Especially, when most of us fail to express love the rest of the year.

Yes, I claim that most of us fail to express our love toward our partners the most time of the year. That we fail understanding what our significant other is feeling, fail being faithful and fail willing to work on our relationships on a regular basis. And with having a “romantic” day like Valentine’s Day, we try to take our chances to promise improvement, impress our significant other with something fancy or simply try to forget all the flaws.

What a great chance to abuse this day as a quick-fix for all underlaying problems of a relationship. To create a beautiful painting for a house which is only fit for demolition. Yes, that’s a bit exaggerated, but I guess you get the point here. Why do we spend lots of money on a day, which (in the most cases) isn’t directly related to us, our partners, our relationships?

It’s because we were told to act like that

It’s because media is telling us that the 14th February, Valentine’s Day, is the day of love. That we should focus on making our significant other happy, with spending money on their well-being. Is this the right approach? What if I told you that you can always be an amazing partner, without spending money? What if I told you that you can use every day in the year to be a good partner to your significant other?

I’m not an opponent of celebrating such special days, but I’m not a big fan of forgetting a partner and a relationship for the rest of the year. And then end up trying to fix everything what didn’t work out well, on a single day.

Therefore, I want to encourage every couple to focus on their relationship on an on-going basis, instead of trying to paint the ailing building with a fancy new color. Let’s strive for on-going work on beautiful, healthy, open and communicative relationships with our significant other! Every single day of the year.

The other problem: Feeling lonely and crave for a partner

Now, the other thing which is occupying my mind: Who didn’t stumble across this indescribable feeling of sadness, when we see couples while being a single? The uncomfortable feeling of being „alone“, of not having someone who loves you. I had this feeling. A lot of times. And I bet you experienced something like this in your life too!

But at a point like that, did we ever try to look a bit deeper into such a situation? To understand that what we see is never the full truth. To understand and realize that there are people loving us, the way we are. Right in this given moment.

The reason why we don’t have to feel lonely as a single on Valentine’s Day is simple: We’re great ourselves and although we might not have a partner, we probably still have people around us, who support us and our ideas!

At this point, I’m not hating against loving couples, but I want to make you understand, that you’re amazing yourself. Yes, I talk directly to you out there! Don’t be sad for not having a partner. Celebrate yourself, your friends, your family and enjoy the moment. In the end Valentine’s Day is nothing else than the 14th day in February.

Of course, it’s amazing if you’ve found your significant other. And here, I’m the last one who wants to ruin your happiness. But I want to support the other side, too. The side of the singles. And I want to encourage all of them to be happy themselves. Without any sadness for not having a partner. You’re amazing yourself and you still can find your significant other. Like always in life:

If you’re able to enjoy the journey, you will be stunned by achieving your goal

Therefore, there is no need to crave for someone else on Valentine’s Day. You got what you need. Yourself. The rest is up to you. Be open, use your chances and enjoy what you already have instead of connecting “true” happiness to the achievement of your cravings.

This is, what I can say about Valentine’s Day with my current state of mind. And I hope that I could help someone out there, who is struggling with either a slowly ailing building, who just needed a quick reminder that a relationship equals effort. And also for the “lonely” guys out there, who aren’t lonely at all, but also just needed a quick reminder that they can enjoy life without a partner too.

No matter if single or in a relationship, enjoy the 14th of February!

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